My 2017 Explained by Elvis Movie Titles

Greetings in 2018! It’s been a bit since I entertained you with retro-renovation stories or ongoing midcentury madness. But I’ve always felt that the best way to spring yourself into a new year is to inventory the pivotal points of the previous year so you can get out the Ajax, wipe the slate clean and move on, amiright?

And what better way to recap your year, than setting it to the vintage movie studio stylings of Elvis Presley movie titles…

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2017 began with a big dream. A dream of turning our muddy, weed-infested, scorched earth side yard into a Polynesian Patio extension, complete with tropical plants, breeze blocks, fringe umbrellas, and technicolor lounge areas. My very own Paradise- Hawaiian Style, if you will.

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Travel was a swell theme for us in 2017. Sedona, Seattle, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Palm Springs, Los Angeles, and Hawaii, just to name a few. And even though the flight attendants no longer ask if you’d like cigars or cigarettes, we were still able to Live A Little, Love A Little by finding a piece of romantic retro paradise in each of the places we traveled to.

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The Trouble With Girls is that sometimes their gallbladders decide to malfunction at the most inopportune times. And the rest of their internal organs respond to this with all the style and grace of an inebriated sixties housewife who spotted lipstick on her husband’s collar the same day she discovered her china pattern was being discontinued. A surgery followed by a week in the hospital, followed by a prolonged recovery at home was the only solution. Thank goodness Netflix has the full MadMen series at the ready for glamorous occasions such as these, so I could focus on finding the inaccuracies in the midcentury set design.

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Well it may not have Happened At The World’s Fair, but it happened near the location, 55 years later. And I can assure you, there was just as much swell music and dancing.

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Just when you think you’re cruising ever so smoothly in your hydro-matic Olds 88, it snaps a tie-rod and you have to push the ol’ DeSoto out of the garage to keep life on the road. When the aggravation wears off, you remember how much you used to enjoy the DeSoto, because its always been fun and reliable. And just when you’re starting to Follow That Dream of restoring it to its original luster, someone drives by in a sleek, new-for-’62 Lincoln Continental with every available option, and asks if you’d like a ride. And you gladly accept.

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Bright light city gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire! And yes, there was a whole lotta money ready to burn, but unfortunately it was spent on nosebleed seats at the Guns N’ Roses concert (so get those seats up higher?) and a tour of the incredible collection of vintage Vegas signage at the Neon Museum– which is always a MUST if you are ever in Sin City. Viva Las Vegas design history!

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I, of course, would’ve preferred the bright red 1969 Lamborghini Miura in the opening scene of The Italian Job, but since that scene ended in a fiery crash and a cliffside tumble, I settled for the modern stylings of the Ferrari 458 for my day at the Speedway. And at 120mph, it did not disappoint.

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Is there anything better than spending a milestone birthday on a tropical island? I’m not sure there is. Unless of course you add in a Blue Hawaii 1957 Porsche 356 Speedster and an Elvis impersonator that looks and sounds exactly like the king himself.

So there we have it: last year all wrapped up neatly in a star-studded, polyester, hunka-hunka highlight reel. 2017 has left the building!

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